ODE TO INFOMMERCIALS
When last we spoke you were far away and I was here waiting for you. I stayed up nights watching bad TV, and those sexy commercials with the ladies and the telephones. I even bought a Magic Bullet Mini Blender and a ShamWow. I don’t know why. I don’t like blending food, and I certainly don’t clean up after myself much anymore. Not since you left. The only thing I’ve really done of any significance was buy a new CD. This band called The DoneFors made a record called How to have sex with Canadians. Funny, I know. I thought it would help me boost my mojo. Maybe it’d be a crash course in how to make a sexy digital movie Canadian styles that I could post on youtube. Maybe you’d stumble on it some day and you’d fall in love with me again. Then you’d come home and make everything better. Well, to be honest, I was only slightly disappointed that this new CD didn’t really teach me much about anything sexy, but what it did do for me is immeasurable. I started brushing my teeth again, recently. Finally took the recycling out. Made plans to see my parents. I even picked up my guitar again. All these efforts were subtle, but the only thing I can accredit the change to was listening to this CD. I think that you’d really like it. It might not make you love me again, but at least you’d be happy about something. Even these beautiful sad songs seem a bit hopeful. Anyway, The DoneFors are going to be doing a CD Release Party in Toronto, and I think it would be good for me to get out. Think I’ll go. Alone even. Maybe you’ll wanna come after reading this. Please come. If you do, please meet me at The Supermarket in Kensington Market on Thursday, February 12th around 9:30pm. I’ll be wearing clean clothes and trying my best to stay composed.
I miss you. Come home.